Monday, 13 October 2014

I wish to propose...

Hurrah! Today it has been announced that the first same-sex marriage ceremonies in Scotland will be held this Hogmanay, with conversions from civil partnership available from 16 December. Now all I need is a partner...

I wrote the following poem almost exactly 22 years ago. Though supremely on-topic, it is now no longer what one might consider "topical". Hurrah!

I wish to propose...

I wish to propose
that we spend a few days,
a few nights,
a few years

I wish to propose
that we live in a haze,
in a fog,
in a mist

I wish to propose
that we save for a ring,
for a rock,
for a home

I wish to propose...
but I can only do that:
propose what we cannot achieve.
Let them see us; let them believe
I wish to propose.

Thursday, 18 September 2014

Positively No

This looks set to be my last poetic offering before the polls open in the referendum. Should Scotland be an independent country?

Positively No

No is a powerful word.
It stood alongside my grandfather and fought the fascists
as opportunistic nationalism swept through Europe.
It did not appease; it did not acquiesce.
No knew that the right answer is not always yes,
no matter how convinced and optimistic other people are.

No is defiant word.
Not afraid to make waves,
it teaches us to swim against the current to reach surer conclusions.
No knows that going with the flow exposes us to greater danger downstream,
obstacles, turbulence and passing predators,
where the banks become less secure
and our footing can be readily washed away
at the mercy of rapid fluctuations.
No is prepared to direct its energies upwards
towards broader channels and temperate pools.

No is often a kind word.
Gifted in an embrace, it holds the hand of those we hold dear
when it would be cruel to stand aside.
It does not idly scaremonger
but it alarms when there are real risks too important to ignore.
No has the strength and composure to resist initial resistance
and insist that facts should be checked,
that assertions should be challenged,
that consequences should be considered.
It does not deny choice
but it does not desert its duty of care.
No is not about scoring points.
It seeks to avoid “I told you so” so long as any friendship remains.
If it is not believed,
and it turns out our loved ones have been deceived,
it will at least make it easier to sleep while we grieve.

No can be a positive word.
It can look your partner in the eye and see a way forward through the tears.
It does not write off three hundred years
of give and take
in favour of giving up and taking umbrage.
Neither does it condemn irreconciled parties to a closed sentence –
rather, it invites a new conjunction: no, but...; no, and....
It is not the end of the story
but the turning point.

To turn to the question at hand, do we want to erect invisible barriers
that change partners into neighbours, neighbours into strangers,
strangers into rivals, rivals into enemies?
Do we want to abandon our place on the world stage
and leave our diminished commonwealth to be scavenged by big business?
I choose not to “make a difference” by withdrawal.
Subtraction is a negative operation.
No is a positive answer.

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

The New Religion

I performed an edited version of this yesterday evening, between 6.30pm and 7pm, on BBC Radio 5 Live. You can hear (and see!) the abbreviated poem here. The full text is below.

The New Religion

Is unpleasant reality getting you down?
Do you feel that your life’s in a terrible mess?
Well, hey!  There’s a new religion in town:
whatever the question, the answer is yes!

Independence, dear flock, is the way and the truth:
there’s a book full of words with the weight to impress.
It is self-evidential; there’s no need for proof.
If you will but believe, then the answer is yes!

We must hope with our heart and not fear with our head,
with uncritical fervour our credo profess.
For doubt is offensive to those who want led
into absolute certainty.  Good folk vote yes.

Because they love their children.  I ask you: do you?
Do you care about all your successors’ success?
Are you not on “Team Scotland”?  I’ll give you a clue:
unless you’re a traitor, the answer is yes.

We are not anti-English, except when we are.
Northern Ireland and Wales?  Where are they?  I digress.
We’ll cooperate fully – la-la-la-la-lah –
I can’t hear what you’re saying while I’m shouting yes.

We must stay in Europe!  So that’s why we’ll leave.
For our rebates and opt-outs we won’t have to press.
They will wave us back in with one rule-waiving heave.
Spain will toast us in Catalan Cava, oh yes!

If our allies say no, they don’t mean what they say.
If we can’t hear them scream, it means foes acquiesce.
We know what’s in their interests far better than they.
They will crumble like Jericho if we trumpet yes.

We will keep Scotland’s pound – you can bank on my word
(though I have a plan B that I’ll leave you to guess).
Need our own central bank?  Why, the notion’s absurd.
Independence is about freedom, not responsibility.  Vote yes!

We’ll stay culturally British – although we are not.
Institutions won’t change; though they will, I must stress.
Why should Scotland pay in to the BBC pot
to get Radio 5?  That’s no loss!  Just vote yes.

Though I’ve led Scotland well, I’ve no real power at all
over devolved matters like courts, crime, police, NHS,
education, arts, transport, local government.  My stall
is that we can’t do our jobs properly so you have to vote yes.

All this British austerity’s evil, we’ve learned.
Let us borrow our way out of debt!  More for less!
Failing that, who needs liquidity when there’s oil to be burned?
All our weather will be warmer if we choose to vote yes.

If you’re normally socialist, liberal, green
or right-wing, you’re in luck – for our hopes coalesce.
Every vote that you cast hereinafter will mean
that you get what you want.  Hipsters, bigots, vote yes!

To vote yes or be wrong is for you to decide
in this positive debate on how righteousness should progress.
We’ll build national consensus by civil divide
into goats who vote no and the sheep who vote yes.

True believer or not, you must follow the band
and proceed in whatever direction we go
to spend wilderness years in an overpromised land.
There’ll be time to worry later – unless you vote no.

Thursday, 11 September 2014

Fresh poetry with fresh people

Edinburgh University Literature Society and Soap Box together, tonight, present the Freshers Poetry Slam from 7.30pm at the Pleasance Cabaret Bar. I will be among the competitors. This year I shall feel slightly less of an interloper, having recently collected my own student card, albeit at a different university. Now, how topical do I want to be...?

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

I am genuinely worried

Lots of my poetry and arty chums are passionately pro-independence. The basic concepts of freedom and change are noble, attractive, seductive, and it can be tempting to see ourselves as following directly from Robert Burns in his more idealistic moments, as if the intervening centuries had not occurred. However, as Burns himself noted, the best-laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley — and the Scottish Government's plans for negotiating a post-Yes settlement do not seem to me to be particularly well-laid. I know of other poets who have been keeping their heads down for fear, ironically, of being branded "scaremongering" for raising genuine concerns. The following poem (recorded last night at Sammy Dow's) — which is probably not my best work and certainly not my shortest — is a small attempt to balance the argument. (Please excuse the audio; I have provided CC/subtitles should you wish to activate them.)

Tuesday, 26 August 2014


I have succumbed to peer pressure (from the world of politics) and passed it on via Macmillan's #IceBucketChallenge to friends (at least they were friends). Bonus points for identifying the verse form used. :)


This challenge I received from Robert Brown:
To hold aloft a bucket filled with ice
And ice-cold water then, within a trice,
To pour the frigid contents on my crown.

Though fearful lest I freeze, or maybe drown,
I’ll suffer this ordeal so far from nice –
To duck the ducking stunt incurs a price
To compensate for absent trickle-down.

The pain endured, the trouble I must share
And nominate three friends to undergo
To help support Macmillan’s cancer care:
Text ICE to seven-zero-five-five-o
To give three pounds, within two days, and dare;
Or dodge by texting FINE (ten pounds will flow).

The deed is done.  I’ll dry off soon and text.
To David, Erin, James – it’s your turn next.

Sunday, 24 August 2014

1 September at Sammy's

That was an enjoyable Fringe! (Only one point away from reaching the final of the BBC Poetry Slam. Maybe next year, if I can win a few more competitions/slams over the coming months...) As a punter (taking notes for devising my own show(s) next year), I didn't quite wear myself out but still didn't get to see half of what I wanted to.

But now, back to Glasgow. On Monday 1 September, I shall be featured writer at Words and Music @ Sammy Dow's (The Samuel Dow, 69 Nithsdale Road, Strathbungo G41 2AJ). It's also an open mic (without the mic) — sign up from 7.30pm, poetry starts 8pm, featured writer about 9pm, followed by featured musician then more open spots.

Last month, stalwart poet/musician Andy Fleming took some photographs of me, one of which you can see below to remind you what a serious poet looks like.

Tuesday, 12 August 2014

A trail of two cities

Edinburgh yesterday, Glasgow tonight, Edinburgh tomorrow...

Fresh/drained from last night's heat of the BBC poetry slam (which went well - not sure yet whether I'll be in the final on Saturday), I will be performing in Glasgow tonight. The fun starts at 7.30pm at Inn Deep (445 Great Western Road, G12 8HH) where Sam Small and his merry band will be launching The High Flight magazine. And it's all FREE!

But don't worry, Edinburgh - you will get more of me. Tomorrow (Wednesday) I will be guesting at another FREE show: Well It's Woody, 9-10pm, Fingers (61a Frederick Street, EH2 1LH).

Thursday, 7 August 2014


On Monday 11th August, I will be competing in not one but two poetry slams. At 5pm (BST), voting closes (HINT! HINT!) on the best recorded poetry performance in the StAnza Digital Slam. From 8.15pm I will be performing live in the first heat of the BBC Poetry Slam at the Edinburgh Fringe. Entry is free. The competition will be tough (see video below) but maybe with enough audience response I will find my way into the final on Saturday...

Sunday, 3 August 2014

StAnza Digital Slam - third time lucky?

For the third year in a row, I have made the shortlist of the StAnza Digital Slam. Hoorah! So, if you fancy popping over to vote, you could make me even happier.

Thursday, 27 February 2014

Is That You?

It's voting time again! Silverburn shopping centre in SW Glasgow recently announced their "Supersonnet" competition. Despite the name, they were not looking for sonnets (which exceeded the requested character length!), so I produced the short piece below. If you like it, and enough people vote for it here by 7 March, you can walk all over it when it is set into the new floor of the winter garden.

Is That You?

Is that you in the doorway with the short, dark hair?
Is that you looking round while I try not to to stare?
Is the face on my phone, here, now in the flesh there?
Is that you?

I've been waiting for someone, my mug in my hand,
To heat up my warmth and to sweeten my bland,
To stir what's been brewing and long left to stand.
Is that you?