Monday 30 May 2011

Pictures of Lilo

Dan Lilo (yet another alter ego) made his debut appearances at the Britannia Panopticon Music Hall this weekend just gone. He performed a routine based on Dan Leno's interpretation of the song "The Swimming Master", with new patter and choreography from myself.

Dan Leno himself performed at the Britannia before his death in 1904. He used his slight frame to comic effect in what was true burlesque, satirising the "strong man" acts and body culture of the age.

Photographs by Pete Thomason

Friday 27 May 2011

The Music Hall season (1911) begins this weekend

Got a spare hour for some free entertainment this weekend...?

Saturday and Sunday 28 and 29 May, shows at 1pm and 3pm
Britannia Panopticon Music Hall, 113-117 Trongate, Glasgow G1 5HD
Music Hall Memories
It is 1911 and the music hall is thriving. You are invited in to see the world's oldest surviving music hall and laugh at some of the world's oldest surviving jokes, along with songs, magic and variety. Entry FREE. Donations welcome.

I will be performing - but under what guise? You'll have to turn up to find out!

Wednesday 25 May 2011

Boys Ahoy! Summer Holiday Boylesque Revue, 10 June, Classic Grand

Why, I do believe that my alter ego Dickie Clifford will be making an appearance! Expect other special guests too. Details on Facebook, with surprises on the night. Men taking off their clothes and making you laugh (in a good way) - what could be better?

As you can see, tickets are £8 in advance from Tickets Scotland. Tickets are also available from Merchant City specialist boutique Luke & Jack.

Tuesday 24 May 2011

Words & Music Open Poetry Performance Competition 2011

Yesterday evening, the poetry crowd at Sammy Dow's, Nithsdale Road, celebrated the umpteenth "Words & Music" Open Poetry Performance Competition. Poets had two minutes to perform one poem. The judges were Carl MacDougall and Marc Sherland.

This year saw the inauguration of the Hugh Healy Trophy, in honour of the event's co-founder (with Pamela Duncan). In these photographs, the trophy somewhat catches the light of the flash!

I was delighted to be a runner-up this year, having last done so in 2007. Congratulations to fellow runner-up Catherine Walker and winner Katherine Beaumont, as well as to all the other contestants.

 Winner Katherine Beaumont receives the Hugh Healy Trophy from Carl MacDougall

Runner-up Chris Young (me!) with judges Carl MacDougall and Marc Sherland

Runner-up Catherine Walker with judges Carl MacDougall and Marc Sherland

Friday 20 May 2011

Arguments and Nosebleeds

We're back! Jane Overton, Robin Cairns, Alex Frew and I are getting geared up for a second instalment of Arguments and Nosebleeds at the Edinburgh Fringe. 

Last year we had guest spots from Milton Balgoni and John Hegley. Who will be visiting us this year? 

Why not visit the website to find out more? Or maybe find and follow us on Facebook and/or Twitter.

Arguments and Nosebleeds

Excessive side-splitting may lead to blood loss.

A craic squad of performance poets tackles life’s major issues (scary schoolteachers, body hair, mountaineering grannies, missing teapots etc.), pausing only for laughter and medical emergencies.

Battered and bruised from last year's success, the tag-team returns for a second bout of verbal footwork and punching both sides of the belt, offering an invigorating afternoon of spoken word transfused with comedy. They expect to haemorrhage humour of all descriptions, from the sanguine and the phlegmatic to occasional melancholy and bile.

You have been warned.

Dates: 21, 22, 23, 24 and 25 August 2011
Time: 14.15
Venue: Laughing Horse @ Espionage (Kasbar Room), 4 India Buildings, Victoria Street, Edinburgh EH1 2EX
[Venue 185]

Thursday 19 May 2011

Away From Me

Not funny, but topical (though written many years ago), with apologies to the Gershwin brothers:

Away From Me

The way you wore your hat,
The way you looked to sea,
The way you tried to chat -
No, they can’t take that away from me.

The way you held your knife,
The way no one could see,
The way you wrecked my life -
No, they can’t take that away from me.

May we never ever meet again -
It is better just in case
I am tempted to throw acid in your face.

The way we left the town,
The way we reached the quay,
The way you pinned me down -
No, they can’t take that away from me.

The way you hid my screams,
The way you groaned with glee,
The way you stole my dreams -
No, they can’t take that away from me.

May we never ever meet again -
If we do, be sure to find
That I will wreak revenge on your behind.

The way you pulled my hair,
The way you crushed my knee,
The way you didn’t care -
No, they can’t take that away from me.

The way you got your mount,
The way you left scot-free,
The way I didn’t count -
No, they can’t take that away from me.

May we never ever meet again -
Or, despite your pleas and begs,
I will take a heavy hammer to your legs.

The way I felt ashamed,
The way I loathed to be,
The way my mind was maimed -
No, they can’t take that away from me.

The way it hurt to tell,
The way I longed to flee,
The way I lived through hell -
No, they can’t take that away from me.

May we never ever meet again,
And I trust we never will,
For I don’t think I’d suppress the urge to kill.

The way you’ve fucked my head,
The way I’m off my tree,
The way you haunt my bed -
No, they can’t take that away from me.

The visits to my shrink,
The tablets with my tea,
The other things I drink -
No, they can’t take that away from me.

No, they can’t take that away from me.